So being April is Autism month, and I'm surrounded by the reminder, hey, your kid is autistic, I figured maybe it was time to get some support. I'd talked a few times with the coordinator, Jan, about the services offered, but never went. I thought about it many times, but "something" always came up... yeah, I know and you know that if you want to do something, you will make it happen.
So I got an email about a meeting. It was in front of me. The date was free. So I made the leap. I didn't take Alex, but Todd went with me.
The meeting was about telling your child about who they are, which I had done a few weeks earlier. By the way, Alex smiles when we talk about it. It doesn't upset or scare him at all. I think it's because I basically told him he is just like all his hero's (Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein... I'll find the list and repost it here). So it's not a bad thing. It just is.
Back to Alex. He is still not ready to put himself in a comparative group with others. As far as he knows, he's the only kid in his school (which is totally wrong, there are some, but it's easy to blend in 95% of the time.) Most people don't know Alex has it. And I don't think the kids need to know. If Alex wants to tell them, he can. But it's more important for the teachers.
We watched Parenthood as a group, and I got to observe some of the other kids. There are so many different ways children are. One boy was trying so hard, but I could tell the tapping another person was doing was driving him crazy. Another child wanted to look around, he was soo happy, but the kid behind him did not want to be looked at. The parents were great in how they handled their children, using it as a teaching moment. You wouldn't have guessed that they were frustrated or upset, which will benefit those kids so much.
It felt good meeting with other parents. Many had waited until about the same age to diagnose their asperger child. I felt so much better! I think 10/11 is a turning point because as a parent you know it is now not something that will be outgrown like other things. It's not a maturity "thing" anymore, and needs to be addressed.
But I felt like the most horrible mom since I didn't just have him diagnosed the second teachers were nagging on me about "Your child won't play with others. Your child this. Your child that." But as a parent I always knew it was who Alex is, and he's happy, why try to make him someone he is not and miserable.
We had asked Alex to be tested a few times. Not sure what we were thinking in giving him a choice in the matter, but he was always in the conference, and autism came up a few times. But Alex always said, "I don't need to be tested." He didn't want a label, and we wanted to respect that. He is wise above his years and we treat him differently in how we parent. He's a very strong individual and I think most other kids could benefit from his self confidence.
Todd and I were very glad we went. It was a good first step for me.
