I don't miss you

The first time Todd and I went out of town, Alex stayed with my mom. He has always felt comfortable at her house. They have always had a very strong bond. We were gone about five days to go to Cabos for a trip I had earned.

This is not the first time I had left him. I've gone to conventions and meetings and he had his dad, and he always did fine.

I remember calling him and asking him, "Do you miss me?" I missed him so much. His answer was "no." It was odd, he never seemed to miss me.

I used to feel deeply hurt knowing my son did not miss me. When we got back I asked him again, "Did you miss me? I missed you so much!" His answer, "No mom, you know I don't miss you. Why would I? I knew you were coming back."

Even at that time it still stung. I didn't get it. I didn't know then about the thought process my son had. Now I understand. He is so logical that the emotion of something missing can not exist if he knows it is not lost.

He does like to know where I am going to be, how long I will be gone, and what I will be doing. Once he has the information, he is fine.

One trip we were gone for 9 days. That trip Alex did begin to miss me. I think it was long enough of not having me around that his schedule was changed and he felt us missing. It made me feel better knowing he does notice me in his life.

Once I began to understand Alex more, it really did help me in my own way of dealing with things and how he reacts.