Not ready for Kindergarten?

I remember being so excited for Kindergarten round up. I knew Alex would do well. He knew everything he needed to, and I loved that he would have the opportunity to expand his mind.

We arrived at the school, and they separated the kids from the parents to do their evaluations. I was a tad worried, but felt he would do well.

I went through parent orientation, and then they began calling parents to talk about their kids. I waited, and waited. Finally, my name was called and I was told: "Your child is not ready for Kindergarten."

My heart sank, I wanted to just collapse. Never in a million years I thought someone would tell me by brilliant child who knew more then most 6th graders was not ready for school. I was not going to let this happen.

I'm paraphrasing: "Alex is not ready for kindergarten. He refused to finish his ABC's, wouldn't count for us and played by himself the whole time. When we talked to him, he told us: "I don't need to be here and I hate Kindergarten."

Woooo. I had prepped Alex, sort of. I had told him he got to go to the big kid school. I knew he was stubborn, but I was not expecting this.

But at the same time, I was listening to what she said his word choice was and I was proud. Most kids would have said "I hate you." Alex did not say anything mean to the teacher. He pointed out he hated Kindergarten, or at this point the idea of it. Come on, how can you say a child who so brilliantly picks his words to show his maturity is not ready?

But of course, my parental proudness was not going to get my kid in school. Holding him back a year would put him behind academically and bore him. "What do I need to do? I refuse to hold him back." I told them.

They saw I was not going to budge, and asked if he was in preschool. Ummm. Hello! He had been in social groups, playgroups, preschool, drop in daycare (that is another nightmare to share) since he was in my womb! This was not about me "neglecting" my kid.

So they told us he had to attend their preschool. Now Alex hates to be scheduled. He had preschool Mon, Wed, and Fri mornings. And now they wanted him to attend the one at school. I wasn't going to pull him, so now for the rest of the year, he would get to do two preschools.

One was the advanced preschool... OK, BCU was not "advanced" but I researched, and researched for the best preschool. And this one was awesome! The kids were all smart, came from great families, and the teachers worked hard with the kids. Plus parents were required to help in the classroom. It was a good preschool.

The one at school is for, well, kids who needed an extra boost. I wasn't overly excited about sending him. I didn't want to be mean or judge, but Alex was not these kids. But it was the only way to get him into school, so I agreed.


My only other option would be private school, but since all the schools in my area are Catholic or religious based, and we are Jewish...

Alex attended their school half days to start on Tues and Thurs, and soon he began eating lunch at school and being there all day. He seemed to enjoy it, so it was not bad. And it did help with his transition into Kind.

Many times I have thought of pulling Alex to homeschool him. Not because of him, but because of the way teachers have acted. I loved most of his teachers, but you can see the "cookie cutter" approach. It seemed like they wanted to understand Alex, but he was the only one like him. I always found it hard to believe that  Alex was the only kid like him at the school, and I still don't believe it. But out of 100 kids, Alex is the only one like him in that grade.... and I was always getting the call:

"We are concerned about Alex."

Yes, "we are concerned about Alex."
Alex doesn't play with other kids.
Alex doesn't work with kids in group settings.
Alex doesn't participate.
Alex doesn't play with anyone at recess.
Alex is wearing a patch on the concrete running.
Alex is difficult when we have a change in schedule (he did outgrow this).

By the way, classes are all small at his school, so don't let the 90+ kids in his grade thing be a "woah, you sent your kid."

 The thing that has stopped me from homeschooling, besides the fact that I do not think I am the best person to lead him in his academic career, is the social aspects.

However, I am beginning to see that no matter how much we emerge him into groups of other kids, he will always choose to be alone. It is who he is. It may bother me, but it does not at all bother him.

But yet, he does not always choose to be alone. He is actually very social  He has one friend he is always happy to play with. He is excited when his cousins come visit and enjoys spending time with them. He will play video games with other kids. And sometimes he will interact with others... however, he does not thrive on it and it is not a requirement in his life...

Part of me wonders if this journey is more about me then him.... He is perfectly content, strong and well defined at age 10....